On Being a Lady Person at Genre Cons
Thursday, January 12, 2012 at 08:34PM I am a touch apprehensive about writing this post, lest it open me up to something that I have so far evaded (specifically, being seen as female first and professional second), but with convention season ramping up and people ironing out their con schedules for the coming year I'd like to talk about the experience of being a woman at a genre convention.
I went to my first comic convention 11 years ago, and I'm a frequent attendee of comic/sci-fi/pop culture/genre conventions. This year, I'm going to at least six conventions for business reasons, not counting any of the cons I go to just for fun. In sum, the convention scene is not new to me. Now, for practical reasons, I've never been a man at a genre convention, but I don't think my experience has been that much different than the experience of a male human just because I am female with a convention-going wardrobe that doesn't hide my bosom.
In all that time, through all those cons, and with all the bosom-emphasizing blouses, I've been the target of exactly one creepy dude. He was at San Diego Comic Con '04, so it was easy enough to dodge him. Not a bad track record, if I may say. During that time, I've also met countless really nice men and women, many of whom have become genuine friends. The only time I ever felt unsafe was when my car got broken into, but that was an opportunistic crime unconnected to the convention; in fact, it wasn't even on convention premises.
In all that time, I've also had exactly one interaction in which I felt like the person I was talking to was looking at me first as a female, and second as a person interested in the work. That's a better average than when I worked an office job.
That's not to say that social interactions are completely devoid of any gender-based dynamics. Room parties can get rowdy, and the innuendo flows, generally in proportion to the empty beer bottles. At one convention before I stopped drinking, I mentioned that if I had anything more to drink, I'd probably be running naked down the hallway, and the men around me wasted not a beat offering their beers to me. It was all in good fun, though, and in all honesty, I set that one up, albeit unintentionally. I wouldn't discount the possibility that this sort of thing could make some people uncomfortable, but by and large it takes a lot to weird me out (do not read that as an invitation to try, please), and I think that the people I talk to at conventions probably pick up on that. I've never gotten any feeling that any of the men at these events seriously wanted to get me intoxicated for nefarious purposes. Perhaps I am being naive in my thinking that, however we may jest, most guys at these conventions probably wouldn't really take advantage of a pretty drunk woman, even if they were given a chance. I'm not so naive as to think no guys have a fuzzy notion of the concept of "consent," but that's another post for another day that will probably never come.
I don't think I do anything any different than most of the other con-going women out there, so I can't explain why I haven't had the blowback that many of them describe. It may be that my experience as a con-going, genre-involved Person of Ladyparts is atypical, and I'm not arguing that sexual harassment never occurs at cons. Nonetheless, I would like to put out there that women can have a wonderful time at conventions and that almost all the guys at cons are really nice. If you're a writer or fan who is also female, please don't let the con horror stories that circulate scare you off from a good opportunity to meet other fans and professionals. It's fun meeting your favorite creators, and almost all of my best professional opportunities have come through friendships begun at conventions.
Reader Comments (2)
I'm glad you've only had one bad incident (though it is certainly one too many).
I think guys can sense that you're always just one second away from yanking out a large switchblade and pressing it to their throat. :P
"I would like to put out there that women can have a wonderful time at conventions and that almost all the guys at cons are really nice." this line hit me!